worth the work.

The last flight I took from Tampa to Denver was delayed four hours. I didn’t pay for a seat, so I ended up in the middle of the very first row. I don’t particularly like sitting for four hours, but I do love the uninterrupted and unapologetic eavesdropping it provides. The older lady sitting next to me reminded me of my Gramma. She was tall and thin, stylish, and sitting as if she was both very calm and very anxious at the same time. I guess I wasn’t eavesdropping as much as I was trying to spy. She sat this way for most of the flight- the middle aged man on my right slept the whole time.

So I watched a documentary about sugar and peered over at her laptop as often as I could. She was writing fiction I assume, but it was the same details as her. She wrote about going to visit some man, looking over at the mountains and drinking a gin of tonic. I knew the gin and tonic and mountains part was true so I let my imagination run with her on the last part.

I was intrigued by her, because of her writing and her life I created for her. I wondered if she did things because she needed to write about them or if it was the other way around. Either way, the way she wrote was to capture the smallest of details. I remember her experience on the plane because of how she captured them. I remembered her because of how I captured her details in my head.

There are so many moments coming up that I know are going to pass too quickly and I’m going to want to remember every detail. I think that was part of the appeal when I decided I wanted to write everyday leading up to my wedding. (ha). I feel like I used to be very good about following through with plans I make. I love making them- new running plans, how I’m going to get work done, recipes.. etc. But recently I’ve gotten so good at letting myself off the hook. I have to keep doing the self work of knowing why and getting back to stick-to-it-ness and I think that is part of the big “why”. It takes work to stick to things. It takes work to remember moments and write the little details- even if it is just putting away the phone and noticing for a day. It takes work to not give in to every want, big or small. And it takes work to create a lasting habit or change.

Maybe the lady on the plane didn’t really want to write, she just wanted to look at the mountains, close her eyes like the man next to me, or watch a thrilling documentary about sugar, but she had work to do. It could also be a hobby that she can’t stop and loves doing, but you get my point. Its so easy to sit back and let moments and details pass you by. Its easy to play on our phones or watch TV or fill our bodies with whatever makes us feel good momentarily, but what takes work is what is worth the work. I am incredibly excited to be married and live life with Colton, but I also want to hold onto all of the details leading up to it. I want to do the work of remembering and capturing some how, the moments that make this life so worth remembering.

2 thoughts on “worth the work.

  1. I serendipitously stumbles upon your new posts through your dad’s blog. I had frequently wondered about your writing hiatus, but refrained from mentioning it (are you surprise?).
    I’m so happy because I have wonderful opportunities awaiting me by reading new posts. That is, if I can remember how to actually access your account. So very happy for you and the beautiful vista of the new life ahead of you with Colton. Love you, my sweet, precious one.

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